


What's my age again?

by CatLady86



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Dorks, Humor, Kinkmeme, Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 06:16:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12475308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatLady86/pseuds/CatLady86
Summary: It's not easy being a big burly man or a small baby-faced one and dating as Gladio and Noctis come to find out while out on a date one day.





	What's my age again?

**Author's Note:**

> Putting another old fill up. :D
> 
> https://ffxv-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/4113.html?thread=7184401#cmt7184401

Gladio sits on the sidewalk, arms cuffed behind his back and head down, praying for the ground to open and swallow him whole as a cop sneers overtop of him. It was just supposed to be a nice date between him and Noct; them walking around Lestallum, having lunch, taking in the sites, and acting like lovey-dovey dorks; but it apparently wasn’t nice to some judgmental assuming prick that called the cops on Gladio. He sighs and looks back at his boyfriend, the young man rubbing at his face and trying to resist the urge to throttle the cop holding the sad-faced white sack doll out to him.

“Don’t be afraid, show me on the doll where the bad man touched you.” he says, his tone consoling but coming off really obnoxious to the Prince. “Was it here?”

Noctis smacks the doll away, scowling and folding his arms. “It was everywhere, okay!? Because he’s my boyfriend and I tell him to do it because I like it. But most of all, which you morons don’t understand, is because _I AM AN ADULT!_ ”

The cop shakes his head. “Clearly the poor child has been brainwashed.”

“He’s twenty years old, check his ID.” Gladio groans out. He rolls his eyes as the cop next to him moves back and places their hand on their utility belt. “Really?” 

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you not to raise your voice and just stay seated.”

“I am sea-”

“Sir! Remain calm and seated or I will use force. And we did check his ID and it’s obviously fake.”

It was, technically, but that wasn’t the point, his birthday was clearly marked and if it was properly run through the database it’d show up. Ignis himself oversaw the creation of all their identifications before they left the Crown City, so it was no way possible they’d be flagged. 

Noctis grunts and takes out his phone. “That’s it, I’m calling Iggy to get this sorted out.”

He doesn’t get an answer, making him groan and begin to get a migraine, one that is about to get even worse as a haughty woman stalks forward and wags her finger at the handcuffed brunette. 

“You should be ashamed of yourself, taking advantage of a child like that. You disgust me.”

Gladio rolls his eyes again. “Madam, please, I was holding his hand and then leaned down to kiss his cheek. How is that wrong?”

“He’s a child!” 

“He’s twenty and I’m twenty-three.” Gladio says, eyes slitting as he shifts about, trying to keep his bound arms from falling asleep.

This incenses the woman, her clutching at her bag and retorting back. “Don’t come near me, child rapist.”

“I didn’t-”

“Sir!”

“I am sitting and being calm.” Gladio says, shaking his head as the cop pops the button of the holder where his taser is holstered. 

“Disgusting vile monster, taking advantage of that poor boy.”

“Actually lady, I take advantage of him.” Noct snickers.

Gladio drops his head and groans, wondering maybe if he should attempt to move and get tased, hopefully it’d knock him unconscious so he wouldn’t have to put up with this shit anymore. But hark, an angel appears to alleviate the situation as Ignis steps from the gathered crowd, his face flabbergasted as Prompto gleefully snaps photos of him cuffed. 

“Officer, what is going on here?”

“This pervert was violating that boy.” the woman snaps as she gets up into Ignis’ face.

The bespectacled man purses his lips and looks to Noctis. “Really Noct, didn’t I tell you it’s inappropriate to grab Gladio’s behind in public.”

This angers the woman who becomes huffier and is almost chest to chest with him now. “What!? Don’t blame the victim for this filthy man’s actions.” she growls and then looks to him before turning to Prompto. “Oh, are you one too? Is that why you’re condoning the violation of a child?”

He resists the urge to shove the woman’s face away and instead turns to the cop standing by Gladio. “Did you check their ID’s, I assure you they are both consenting adults.”

“I looked at them and they are fake.”

“Did you run them through the database? Or are you just assuming?” Ignis says, voice taking a tone that make his three companions wince in terror. “That, sir, is deplorable and unbecoming of an officer of the law.” 

The cop scratches at his chin then takes the IDs over to his vehicle where he runs them through a device, returning a few moments later red in the face. He uncuffs Gladio and hands back his ID to him before walking over and handing Noctis’ back.

“I, apologize. Sorry to you both, have a nice day sirs.” he says and nudges his colleague towards the car.

Noctis side glances the woman briefly before leaping up and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, pulling him into a deep kiss that includes a mass amount of tongue. 

“This is an outrage!” the woman snaps and storms off after the cops to complain more.

“Do tell me what brought this on.” Ignis asks, rubbing at his temple as the foursome leave the area. 

“That’s the thing, we were just holding hands and he kissed me on the cheek. It’s not like he had me bent over a bench or anything.” Noct snaps as he snakes his arms around Gladio’s bicep before rubbing at the bruise around his wrist where the cuffs were strapped. “We showed them our ID’s and everything but they wouldn’t listen. They just pulled me aside and cuffed Gladio, calling him a pedophile and treating me like I was some poor abused kid.” 

“Well you are baby-faced and can act like a child at times.” Gladio snorts and gives his lover a nudge.

“Well you look and act like a bear, maybe shave your face and you’d look your age.”

“Enough,” Ignis begins, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “as long as it wasn't due to something inane like before where you called him _‘Daddy’_ to be cute, we shan't have any more issues.”

This makes the two men turn a deep shade of red, looking quite cheeky as Ignis resists the urge to slap the shit out of them both.


End file.
